Walking in Faith, not in fear

I have been afraid for years now. I do not know from whence my fear came, nor can I recall the moment at which my fears began, but I do know that somewhere within me lays the fears of the world. Within the pit of my soul complacency has reproduced, mating with the resonating feeling of procrastination, breeding the desire for acceptance. I have feared what others thought about every facet of me. My hair, my face, my body, my thoughts, my behaviors, my writings, my ideas...simply and complexly me.

By succumbing to the thoughts and ideals of others, I have done nothing to hinder their criticisms, yet everything to cease my true fulfillment of my happiness for my life. Beginning today, I have made the decision to no longer live in Fear, but by faith. As a child, I can often remember the pastor of my home church reciting James 2:17 "Faith without works is dead"

I challenge myself that every week I will begin to do something new (or something old) and incorporate it into my life. The first goal is to beginning writing everyday.

Last year's birthday tale

Originally Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2007 at 3:33pm

Its about 10:15 when i walk out my aunt's house, in BOWIE. Im extra excited because its my birthday, and it was great & because i am about to go see :wub. I have a nice spring to my step...new cellphone, new purse, etc etc. I get to my car and get my keys out my purse and start to stick them into the door (no automatic shit). When this young man in a black hoodie and black pants jumps from the side of the car, with something black in his hands and yells out "GIMME YOUR DAMN KEYS!!!", he repeats with the same intensity "GIMME YOUR DAMN KEYS!!!", I drop everything and just start screaming. I scream so loud my jaws hurt. and i think i started to cry, I am so panicked i have no idea what is going on. Then i hear laughter. Why does this dude pull down his hoody and start busting out laughing and gets on his cell phone (the black thing) and says "yeah i just got my cousin real good with that...HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITT!" and walks towards the house.

I love my family :)

a tribute to malcolm, daddy, & all the other influential men in my life

1. funny
2. actively trying to change the world
   
3. the desire to be well-cultured
4. educated...please school me...and drop some knowledge
   
5. hardworking & dedicated - it wont take me long to figure this out
   
6. Spiritually adept
   
7. a cup of my daddy
8. a pinch of malcolm
9. a hint of huey freeman (yes from the boondocks)
10. funny
    
    

People who have known me for a long time, understand the level of respect and admiration for Malcolm X. First off the brother was intelligent. His intelligence was not just a learned quailty, it was innate. Second, the man was HANDSOME! lol. I want a little bit of Malcolm X mixed into my future husband. But secondly, Malcolm was very progressive in his thinking about the Black woman, and the women of the world.

Malcolm once said :
If you are in a country that is progressive, the woman is progressive. If you're in a country that reflects the consciousness toward the importance of education, it's because the woman is aware of the importance of education. But in every backward country you'll find the women are backward, and in every country where education is not stressed its because the women don't have education

My dad once said:
never want something so bad that you will allow people to make a fool out of you.

There is a battle brewing in the city...

Jay-Z disses Deshawn Stevenson

Pro'verb gets at Jay-Z and Lebron

missed the 26th

so hopefully i will be able to post two very interesting writings for you today.

Partial Vindication for A Friend's Broken Heart

So de white man throw down de load and tell de nigger man tuh pick it up. He pick it up because he have to, but he don’t tote it. He hand it to his womenfolks. De nigger woman is demule uh de world so fur as Ah can see. Ah been prayin’ fuh it tuh be different wid you. Lawd, Lawd, Lawd!

-Zora Neale Hurston (1891–1960), African-American novelist, short story writer, folklorist, playwright and anthropologist


I had a very intense conversation with a really good friend a couple of days back. This is a young woman that I have known for nearly all of my life. She told me of her recent encounter with this young man that she was dating. The relationship went sour, some drama happened, then some more drama happened. While im listening to her story I can only become infuriated with this guy. I have heard of him and what he is about from a few other people. This guy went from praising this woman to publicly damning her. That conversation led me to posting the following on SGGDC.COM.


Generally i am a kind, warm, forgiving, and understanding person. but man some of these young guys out here are truly on their head.

This statement is in no ways an attempt to demean and decharacterize all of the intelligent, reputable men out there. It this is only a means to articulate on the truculent nature of some of our surrounding beings. Although I have been graciously denied the pleasure, or lack thereof, of ever encountering a man so vile and despicable as the one whom this verbalization was inspired, this statement serves as partial vindication for my fellow females who have. If this offends you in anyway, then perhaps my purpose in writing this was satisfied, maybe you should check yourself.

You are pure worthless filth. it disgust me to even think about the lack of respect, compassion, and morals that you possess towards women. All i can do is look towards your mother and the women who raised you and ask are you pleased with the degenerate fruit that you have allowed to roam this earth? Are you proud that this is the type of person that you have damned upon society? or are you too tormented by what has become of your seed? What makes you think that you can treat people the way you do? So keep stunting for the cameras and the girls sweetheart you are going to get yours one day. and i am telling you your day is coming really soon.

Seriously some of you ladies need to be way more selective in the males that you decide to commit yourselves to. Listen to your intuition and the stories of women around you, they are not always jealous.

Women are the birthers(yes i made that word up!) of our world. We are the beginning. No man can come into earth, unless it is through us. Therefore, as women we physically and emotionally carry our society with us. I've never understood how black men can degrade the mothers of their society the way they do. Beyond the videos, beyond the music, beyond the magazines and television shows, everyday in the "Real World" . But at the same time, i have never understood why Black Women allow themselves to be degraded. Perhaps i will delve into this topic more throughly at a later time...

Rock The Books! ok & the Vote too.

Everyone is so exicited about the entire Democratic Primary Election Process. And of course now that there is still no clear nominee, the elections have pussyfooted into North Carolina, givng the people false hope that they are important. And guess what? Someone I know would be the ones pissing in their pants with excitment.

My friend Gary has to be one of the most estactic (did i spell that right?) persons I have ever met about this entire primary election process. Sometimes I just chuckle at his naivety, while at other times I admire his dedication and encourage his activism.

Finals week begins next week, and all my teachers are throwing review sessions out left and right. Now, Gary always attends class, so when he wasnt in class yesterday, I grew concerned. Especially because the teacher was giving out mas extra points, and i knew Gary needed some.

So when class is over, he hits me up, tells me he is planning a march, and gets blown that i say i dont want to go.

**beginning of conversation**
Me: what happened to you in class today, Prof Welborne was giving points for the final

Him: oh, i had a meeting with the corporal so we could get police officers to block off the the street.

Me: block off the street for what?

Him: we're having a march and your marching with us!

Me:really im coming? what are you marching for?

Him: we are meeting at the statue of the A & T 4 and marching to the court house to vote!

Me: not where are u marching to...why, for what reason. but i cant vote in North Carolina. im registered to vote in MD, and im an independent so i cant even vote in the Democratic primaries there.

Him: oh well it dont matter. just come out and march with us. your parents, grand-parents, great great grand parents all fought for your right to vote.

Me: actually i just spoke with my grandpa yesterday and he told me he hasnt voted in about 30 years. but are u just marching to get to the voting booth, or are u marching for some other cause? you sure you dont want to save all this energy for the real election in the fall?

Him: So you are not going to come out?

Me:Yeah, I don't know. We'll see.
**end of conversation**

I do feel kinda bad for not wanting to participate in the march. I will spread the word so other people who are registered to vote can go out and Barack The Vote because I really do want to see him in office. Gary really almost got me when he said the whole our parents, grand-parents, great great grand parents spill. One because just hearing the words Mother or Grandmother gives me a resurgance of emotions that I have tried to supress for years. And two because I was often with either one of them when it was time to vote.

I used to walk with my Gma to William Paca Elementary School from my her house so that she could go vote. This was before Washington Heights was shut down to make way for swanky new condos, and before that tricky little wooden fence was built that seperated the Village Green community from the rich patrons of Fed Ex Field . I would slide into the voting booth with her and just watch. Or waking up extra early with my mother to go to Glenarden Municipal Center, and seeing a long line of people of color exercising their Democratic Rights.

But at the same time my grandparents and parents also fought and worked to death (Gma & Mom literally) so that I could go to college and get an education. To that is what they dedicated their life. To see me, and my sister, and my cousins succeed and become intelligent beings who would be able to successfully attack the system.

I know to some that this may seem like something that a guilty conscience would say to ease its restless mind, but the reality of it all is that the primary elections dont mean a damn thing. The presidental election doesnt mean anything either. The people who really establish, implement, and destroy laws are the congressmen and women. All the president can do is say yes, or say no. and if he says no, if the people in congress are united they can just overrule him. And if those people in Congress are not afraid of the citizens of the United States then they will continue to do whatever it is that they have decided was on their agenda.

Only through unbiased education, humanity, and yes active particpation in the goverment practices of your nation can this world change for the better. Alright Gary, i think you might have me, maybe i will come out for the march. How long is this walk going to be?